I’ve not been happy lately. No wait, that doesn’t sound right, I’ve felt like there was something missing recently. There was an empty feeling to which I use to have so much recently.
I was on my way home from the final year project, going up on the bus, with a bunch of other people. I can sense the dullness of the whole thing altogether, right in the bus, I kinda see the sighs, the faces of boredom, and i don’t know, what else. its just deteriorating to the mind, heart and soul really.
I was looking and trying to imagine seeing myself in their shoes, how much, if i continue this journey, if working in an aviation industry was something I really wanted to be in. Yes, definitely, it would be good for money but what about this —-> ‘:D ‘ . Classmates be telling that they want to be pilots, engineers, airlines, but i can’t really figure it out. I’m glad another one of my friend feels the same way.
Then this really annoying question comes back to me again, “What am I gonna be? ” , its easy really, but when you’re seriously clueless about what to do, then “houston, we have a problem”
So i ventured out again, and try to imagine something that I would really worth working, something that I can enjoy working, without this feeling of guilt, and start to look through again what I’ve like to do, and yes. I’ve totally forgotten about this until now.
Band in primary school, choir and guitar ensemble in Secondary school, all the piano lesson I’ve been teaching myself through Youtube, Drums, Those productions I’ve stored so much in my hard disk I’ve barely touched it anymore. Electronic Music Production and DJ-ing in polytechnic years. Back then, I’ve had related myself to music. 3rd year came, and after internship, I’ve barely touched the CDJ set anymore. I can see a downward spiral in my mood, focusing on tests, and tests, and project, and tests again, that i forgotten about the one thing i truly care forgotten about, is to breathe and live again to what I’ve not been attending to.
Its going to graduation soon in another 1 month, and I should be going to serve the country for National Service soon. Given much thought this time, I’ve could have just taken the Sonic Arts course when i had wanted it back during year 1. It could have been an amazing experience.
So after all of this, I’ve decided that to truly embrace life and enjoy what I’m doing, I’m going to go and take a diploma in audio engineering and/or music production. Either one or the other.
I read the book ‘The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari’ and in one of the pages lies a really good wisdom phrase
“Every event has a purpose and every setback its lesson. I have realized that failure, whether of the personal, professional or even spiritual kind, is essential to personal expansion. It brings inner growth and a whole host of psychic rewards. Never regret your past. Rather, embrace it as a teacher that it is.” – Yogi Krishnan