I wish I was able to feel how others would feel for Father’s Day, I really do. I enjoy seeing friends post how their dad is the most awesome, the most respectful, and most caring dad they could get, and someone who’s been through a lot yet still take good care of them.
I really can’t feel it this year though. Not with what has happened within my own family. I would text him saying Happy Father’s Day, but it would be just damn straight to the face and blunt, because I feel like I’m doing it ‘for the sake of saying it’.
Dad and I, hasn’t been on really good terms, and as much as I do appreciate what he can bring to the table, I sometimes wish he hadn’t had created continuous problems in the first place bringing the family down to the ground.
The closest connection with me and him, was talked over a cigarette and how good it felt to smoke, and nothing more closer than that. It’s even harder to share things with each other because we didn’t share a common interest.
I did try to ask Sis if she said anything, but i guess we had the same approach as well. If i was to be honest, I didn’t really see him as a father figure growing up, and as much as i try my best to accept the best out of it, it didn’t help, or if it did help me accept him for a while, he would just disappoint not me but the whole family, which I’ve learnt to get over with so long ago.
So, dear ‘dad’, my wishes to you, would be for you to be a better man, if not for us, then at least for your own self.