Dad, I hope you can change to be better.


I wish I was able to feel how others would feel for Father’s Day, I really do. I enjoy seeing friends post how their dad is the most awesome, the most respectful, and most caring dad they could get, and someone who’s been through a lot yet still take good care of them.

I really can’t feel it this year though. Not with what has happened within my own family. I would text him saying Happy Father’s Day, but it would be just damn straight to the face and blunt, because I feel like I’m doing it ‘for the sake of saying it’.

Dad and I, hasn’t been on really good terms, and as much as I do appreciate what he can bring to the table, I sometimes wish he hadn’t had created continuous problems in the first place bringing the family down to the ground.

The closest connection with me and him, was talked over a cigarette and how good it felt  to smoke, and nothing more closer than that. It’s even harder to share things with each other because we didn’t share a common interest.

I did try to ask Sis if she said anything, but i guess we had the same approach as well. If i was to be honest, I didn’t really see him as a father figure growing up, and as much as i try my best to accept the best out of it, it didn’t help, or if it did help me accept him for a while, he would just disappoint not me but the whole family, which I’ve learnt to get over with so long ago.

So, dear ‘dad’, my wishes to you, would be for you to be a better man, if not for us, then at least for your own self.

 

 

Enhanced by Zemanta
Advertisements

One thought on “Dad, I hope you can change to be better.

  1. I totally understand your feelings on this. I spent yesterday under a dark cloud of sadness and guilt. I didn’t text my Dad but I sent a card on Friday. I know it will be delivered late, maybe today or tomorrow. So I “did my duty” but yesterday was a day of guilt because I just couldn’t bring myself to send a text. What would I say. Not “happy father’s day”. But I don’t think “consider this the obligatory FD text so that I don’t feel guilty that you didn’t get an acknowledgement from your only daughter” is quite appropriate 🙂 I spent the day mulling over the past – Hallmark have alot to answer for!

Comment Below here, you awesome one.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s