Do you remember the moment you saw your crush appearing right before your eyes? There’s something about him or her that’s grabbing your attention. Your crush smiles at and you’re all hyped up but you don’t know where to start or how to continue from then on, so you did something silly or nothing at all.
I can imagine how hard it has been for you. That feeling of trying to find the moment.
I once had a crush towards an amazing girl. I enjoyed how we had good laughs, looking at the wind blow her wavy hair, how she took my heart away with her looks and smile. We were in the same interest group back during the school days. We started as friends and we had build a good connection. We talked and build a good conversation, but I never proceeded on.
A part of me was telling me that it’s not possible, because in my mind I feel that I was out of her league, or that she didn’t feel the same way I do so we stopped contacting each other. After she went with another guy, I was curious to know how she would reacted if I confessed to her earlier and she said, she had liked me when we were contacting and would have considered our relationship. I was afraid. What a wasted opportunity that was for me!
Along the years, I’ve learned so many things that has allowed me to look back and realise some of the things I could have done better. Allow me to share with you a few advice and tips from my own experience and things I’ve picked up.
- Brush your communication skill. Take some extra steps to write down what you want to say when you’re confessing. Does it sound right coming out from you. Do you stutter when you’re saying it out? Are you saying it too fast or too slow? It helps to write it down your confession somewhere. Say it in front of the mirror. Say it again. Say it 10 times.
- Be mentally prepared. See that you have explored all the possibilities of the situation. You have a chance or may not have a chance, but that doesn’t matter. What’s important is that you did what you wanted to do, to confess to him/her and get it done with.
- Hint him or her . Go on a date. Let it be known that you’re not just out there as friends but you want something more than that. Ladies, do not wait for the guy to make the first move. If you want him, catch him and show that you’re interested. Guys, you’ve got to give it a shot.
- Timing is essential. Find a good place and time to confess to your crush. The best time to confess is when both of you are comfortable. Imagine you trying to confess with an empty stomach. No way. Find a good time to talk for a while and then say what you wanted to say.
Dealing with your thoughts can be very frustrating. It makes you want to not say it out because you’re not sure. Insecurities. Fear. We all have that fear of being rejected. Who wants to hear bad news right?
- If you don’t confess you won’t know. It’s easier said then done, which is true. We come up with all kind of excuses to not being able to say it out, but actually it’s the one dying question, we still want to know. Does he or she likes me back? Can we take the relationship to a next level? See it as this. Your confession will help to relieve you of all that tension that’s building inside. Like the own experience I had with relationships, I should have asked and we could have worked out.
- See the answer as truthful honesty. Learn to understand that whatever the answer is, it is straight from the heart. Thank him or her for being truthful and honest about it. You wouldn’t want him or her to lie about feeling it. This also makes you feel better about the situation.
- See it as a future to be. It might not happen now, but maybe 5 years down the road, lets say you happen to stumble upon your crush , and if you both happen to be single, it might be a good consideration.
- See your confession as a compliment. It’s that feeling burning deep inside that you need to let out but you’re afraid. Have you ever had someone said, “Hey you look good” or “You have such a nice name” ? Most likely the feeling you’re getting is good. See your confession as a compliment of you telling him/her how much you appreciate them being around you.
A few other pieces of advice for you to get through your relationship.
- Be the man beside her, be the lady that supports him. Appreciate what he/she have and let him or her know that it makes you want to be a part of their life. Know what triggers his/her happiness, and build your way towards understanding that. If he likes to watch soccer, find out which team he supports, and surprise him by wearing his favourite jersey on a hangout or date . If she likes to do yoga, do some research on the different types of moves that she’s been working on, and talk about how it has helped you appreciate the people doing yoga more , or try to do the move yourself! (yoga’s tough btw)
- It takes two hands to clap. Try using your left hand trying to clap without your other hand moving. It feels weird, it feel one-sided. That’s exactly how it works in a relationship. If you’re working your butt of to get this person to notice you, but your crush isn’t replying your call, then you have to expect the unexpected. Provided you have tried many various ways to try to see if he/she likes you back.
I hope you were able to pick up a few tips and advices from today’s The Relationship Series.
Have you encountered something similar? What was your story like?