The Relationship Advice Series Coming Soon

I’m starting a new non fiction series post for relationship advice that focuses on several relationship stories and lessons that can help to improve your relationship with people and use to help you in useful situations.

The relationship series is a weekly monthly post. In these posts, I will try to include helpful relevant links and references in the post to help you with visualising the problem and then a way to overcome or minimize the problem.

(aploogies, it will be a monthly post I overestimated myself)

Why am i running this now?

  1. Coming back to understanding myself. I used to run an advice blog. Recently, i was in an advice blog along with other good tumblr advisors on tumblr to help people give out advice to those having any kind of problems. I want to try to do it again.
  2. To feel good. I always feel like it’s a good thing to help people in need of a good advice. From my experience, when I was able to help someone get back on their feet, it felt great to be a part of it.
  3. Build better rapport with you. I like it to be a two-way communication between us.  Share your own opinions and advice on the topic.
  4. Do something meaningful. If not giving back to the community, then what else right? Life is about understanding and sharing our knowledge and experience with each other. That is a great gift anyone can ever get and benefit from.
With that, I hope to end this post with a quote,

When you give yourself to others, life returns your call and give good experience back to you.

Live the better life while Tweeting

live the better life while tweeting

Stress comes into play, minds in shock, unable to move nor think. Dumbfounded. The world that we choose to believe sucks our brain, and takes form of another alternate side of us. The non-productive state of us, and the non-beneficial part of our life, choose to reside on the twitter app on our phone.

Complains, tons of them, piled up like pieces of paper that reaches the world’s tallest building but actions none taken. Social media has been made to engage with people through expressions and ability to share with billions  yet we choose to express the wrong type of impression.

We can’t blame ourselves for what we do, because we already feel bad, so we share it with the world because we feel bad, but little did we know, that a spread of sadness comes with a consequence far beyond measures.

Have someone tweet ‘It sucks today’, and having it retweeted across every other friends in the list, sooner or later, someone else who felt like they’re not having a good time, retweet that, and then what, you’ll have a whole nation saying, ‘it sucks today’. Influence are strong, especially with hashtags available these days.

Look inside each person deep enough and you can see that he/she churns out an aura that reflects the way we feel. Two person stepped into a puddle of water and then turned out to get pooped by a bird. Both feel bad, One choose to act in with a chilled out persona and let it go while another chooses to act with a bossy, complain-king persona. Which one would you rather spend time with?

It’s simple if one applies it visually. A person surrounding a group of friends gives out an aura that will affect the person around them. Show them how funny you are, and in return they will laugh with you, and enjoy your day. Talk to them about your boring life, how you had the worse day of all, and they wouldn’t most likely even feel like enjoying themselves, instead maybe ignore, or feel pitiful for you. They might cheer you up, because that’s what you need, it makes you feel a little bit better, but you realize then that the whole day’s highlight has been spent trying to make you feel better.

What if there’s no friends to attend to you then? What if you dont feel better stilll?

What if we can change all that bad feeling into a good feeling and make you feel better by your own? You might be wondering what the hell am I talking about.

I’m not suggesting that you shouldn’t tweet about how you feel, tweet all you want, but try this.

For every bad feeling you feel, have a change of mindset. Instead of tweeting, ‘Its so bad today, god i feel like im going to die ^$#(*% FML.’ or the ‘weather sucks! Now i can’t go out as planned! #sadlife #FML ‘

Turn it into positive or more encouraging words such as ‘There’s up and downs in life, I’m not going to let it bring me down #positive’ or ‘Even if things didn’t go as planned, I shall find something productive to do. In the mean time, rain please go away! #chill’

It’s hard to accept it but it’s not impossible. It might even sound unnatural or goody-good but it works. I’ve had my share of bad times, but I could never choose to display them negatively, not because I was not expressive, or afraid of knowing what people might think of me, but because I was mindful towards how my actions would make them feel.

Even if things doesn’t really change the fact that what happened has already happened, it does make a huge difference to how one feel at the end of the day. Not only will you feel much better, you might also cheer up someone at the other side who might be having a bad day and reading your tweets.

With that, i hope you reconsider reading your tweets, and how it sounds like, or how it would affect the others around you, and make it your own life-changing persona.

A good aura attracts a positive crowd, while a bad aura attracts the negative crowd.

Have a nice day. When everything feels wrong, we move along.

 

 

5 tips to an ‘Easier Start’

There’s a really important meeting starting soon, there’s a new interview you’re applying to, meeting on a date with someone new, or perhaps you just happen to feel like you need to somehow start your day feeling a less of a burden, without a weight on your back.

I feel you, and to be honest even I have had the toughest of days.There’s things holding us back, but sometimes we’re just not too sure what it is, or simply we ‘forget’ to do things like this.

There are 5 simple tips that I would like to share with you, that I normally would use for helping me start my day better.

Packing

Packing (Photo credit: CEThompson)

#Tip 1 : Plan ahead

I think this is really the most simple and efficient way to get things done, but sometimes I feel that we tend to neglect. We happen to be going to work tomorrow, but we neglect the time to prepare our clothes to wear beforehand, and to excuse ourselves, ‘there’s still time tomorrow to wake up and find what i want to wear’ , and waking up late tomorrow spoils that plan.

If you have something on, prepare it before hand. Get ready your stuffs in the bag, or at least somewhere you would normally go and reach to before leaving the house.

#Tip 2: Recall things 

P psychology

P psychology (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Recalling is a good technique I normally use to help me get on track. Try to recall what happen the few days before generally, and put that into storage. It may help you to get back on par with what you could have left unfinished, or perhaps someone you’ve met that you might need to contact. If you’re in a meeting, try and recall the person you had the meeting with, if you’re in a date, try and remember what was ‘his/her’ name and whether you might want to meet up again. If you’re going to work, try and recall the last time you head to work, and how you have did the day.

Another way to do this would be to use a reminder, to I have yet to do, and for that I’m using Any.Do. You may choose to check that out in your mobile store, it’s available for Android, Iphone, and Chrome users.

#Tip 3 : Visualise before Action

A lot of professional people does this. It may sound weird, or not even make sense at first, but its been proven otherwise. Great athletes, visualise how they would run a race, shoot the ball, hit the bat. Visualisation is the key that helps to  unlock the potential in one’s mind.
Being prepared not just physically, but mentally.

I choose to do this before going to work. The day before or morning after waking up, i would stop whatever I’m doing, visualise how I’m going to work, and pretend to have a scene where I was doing my best job, working happily, and everything was good and how i wanted it to be. This has definitely help me a lot, especially for Mondays. I hardly ever get the ‘Monday’ Blues when it comes to work, because i don’t feel that way.

#Tip 4 : Sleep enough

Baby gorilla having a sleep on his mother

Baby gorilla having a sleep on his mother (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I can’t emphasise this enough. It’s really that important. I have to admit, even i don’t sleep enough sometimes, but i realise that whenever i am able to sleep enough, my next day wouldn’t be as tiresome as other days. An average child would need 10-12 hours of sleep, a teen would need 8-10 hours, and as an adult, about 7-9 hours. This are roughly the number of hours to sleep that have been researched or expected, but still we understand our body better to know how many sleep we should get to get a good day starting. It’s definitely good if there’s some important things going on.

Here’s a link where you can get the charts.

#Tip 5 : Smile and Laugh

Only the serious know how to truly laugh

Only the serious know how to truly laugh (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I remembered attending to a laughing course activity once in school. Literally, what I have to do for the course, was to laugh, even if it was a fake laugh. We were told to fake a laugh until we laugh for real. It appears to be that, laughing helps to release a chemical into our body, that helps to generally relieve stress and tension.

I find that smiling is really a contagious effect. It does not only spreads physically through our body but also spiritually. The more we are around the people that we’re happy with, the more we are happy. So smiling, helps to create that feeling of being a state of happiness. It does create an aura, that attracts the happy people towards  us.

I once had a bad morning, but realising that I shouldn’t let that affect my day, I smiled on the way to work, with the people i met with, and it felt really good. It did make the people i was with more happy to be with me, at the same time, i felt good because I didn’t really care what happen in the morning after.

So that’s my few tips I’d like to share with you.
If you do have any other tips you want to share, please do! I would love to hear them 🙂

These are some related posts you might wanna check out as well ! 🙂

Daily Prompt: 180 Degrees

I’ve not posted daily prompts for awhile, but I missed posting daily prompts, because it has really gets the creativity juice going and brain thinking.

Tell us about a time you did a 180 — changed your views on something, reversed a decision, or acted in a way you ordinarily don’t.

Recalling the days back, I’ve done so much 180’s, i think there’s too much to say, so I guess I’m going to tell the one of the 180’s that really changed my life and how I think.

Back in the primary school days (not another old story again :D, haha okay bare with me), getting bullied was an normal routine. I was the school nerd, a weird kid really, yes you name it. Crying was routine too. Complains were usual, being the person that i was, i just had to complain to teachers, which eventually escalated up to DM’s and principal, and till my mum came school, but i guess it didn’t help much, because complaining only leads to more bullying.

The 180.
I don’t know why i was treated in such ways, i guess i was slow in understanding, but after awhile i ‘realized’ that maybe I was the problem. I guess instead of complaining, i had to deal with myself. Not to say that i had to fit in, but I guess the way i see it is, if I had wanted to change the way people think of me, I had to change myself. So no more long socks up way up high, better hairstyle, better ‘cool’ shoes ( oh yes how judgmental those days were where they see Kappa shoes), I don’t know, the way i communicate perhaps. Laugh it off to those mean jokes, then eventually things slowly went fine. Lesser bullying, lesser cries, more appreciation.

Coming to think of it, it’s always how we perceive things, you know. Changing one self is easier than trying to change someone’s else and I don’t agree with bullying, i think it’s really not so much of a good memory to remember by.

It does however change the way i think, see and feel, and I did have to go through it understanding the hard way. The future children does not have to go through the process, which is why i think that this 180 is the decision i had made.
 Start doing something about it, understand yourself better.

 


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Trying to understand why something that seems so easy is just so difficult.

Yeah, really, I’m wondering. Usually I have this plan that i want really stuck inside my head, I’m already aiming at it, but then the moment i decide to do this plan, I’m just down with some blockage. There’s just something that’s not working.

Maybe I’m a perfectionist. I want to do something really nice, but then because I’m always changing things here and there, I never get things done.

I’m stuck in a dilemma of where I want the best of everything. 

I can’t remember how many things I’ve tried myself, but i always get things halfway done. I opened up a blog years ago, and just recently, I’ve opened up another blog on local art. I joined DJ-ing halfway, and i wanted to concentrate on being a producer. I had taken an aviation course in school, with in mind previously, that i wanted to be a pilot, but after realizing that it’s not my passion, i decided not to be so much. Then i just thought, what was my passion anyway? 

 I confessed being a dreamer, and have great ambitions, and its not that it’s not possible but because I want to do so much stuffs, i can’t even concentrate on what i want anymore. 

Is there a sickness to describe this? Is it fickle-mindedness. Maybe.

I’m taking a step back to try and figure out again what is it that i want to be. I hope to record the journey I’m taking from now on. 

 

Daily Prompt: Plead the Fifth

Question here today.

What question do you hate to be asked? Why?

Giving in some thoughts to this question, another daily prompt, and had the title as ‘plead the fifth‘ , you know, I’ve never known what it meant until i search it out just now, pretty interesting topic.

I’ve been thinking and thinking about this, it’s taking me quite awhile to get an answer, my brain isn’t giving me much of a scenario to reflect back on. A typical answer that i thought about, was asking the obvious, like ‘what are you doing’ when I’m actually doing it in front of them, but giving it a second thought, i actually don’t mind that type of question, because though it’s not necessary, its not something i hate.

I think the closest question I don’t like to be asked about is shooting me a question. ‘why can’t you be like _____, comparing me with someone at the same time making myself feel very demoralized.

I kind of feel that is general, it’s a really demotivating question to start with. I’m sure there’s better ways of asking what was intended in mind. A rephrasing of the the question to ‘What do you think about ____, i think he’s could be your motivation factor, would you like to give it a try?

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A ShortMaking of a Masterplan

What would be your life’s masterplan? Have you ever thought of it at least for a bit, did you think of it vaguely as you go along, did you push that thoughts out and write it down in a piece of paper, or draft it out as drawings hanging in a big wall around your room, Did you push that into an in-out ear, and said ‘ I don’t know’.

Most of us have an idea of where we want to go to, but don’t see the cues that lies surrounding them. Some has their thoughts talking to themselves, still wondering what to do in life, but don’t see that their career is around them.

I once came to this stage of complex thoughts clumping into one big chunk of ‘???’ ,thinking “where do i go from here?, what do i want to do in life?, how do i guarantee that this path of life I’m taking would be the one i’ll want to go with when I’m 20 years down the road?.”

Wait, before that, where would you be 20 years down the road?
That’s something you can think about.

NOW Visualize,

Yourself in your own place, in your future bedroom, imagine yourself walking through the living room, walking out the house, the atmosphere surrounding outside your area and going to your workplace, the kind of people you wish had walking through your neighborhood or place or probably somewhere you have always dream of wanting to be, living your dreams.

COME BACK NOW.
Imagine the things you dreamt around you coming into this present world, try and remember the people you were with, what is the atmosphere you were with, how it resonate with your future plans. Is there any similarity with what you are seeing now, and the things you had. If you had, most likely you’re going towards your future direction.

Take a look around you. Scan around your room, or your workplace and imagine the things around you, look at the physical objects that represents your plans or your dreams. Does it goes in sync with the plans you had in mind? If you were an artist, do you have your surrounding filled with your art,.

You wanted to be a famous drummer one day, but do you have a garage where you’d practice your drums or find time to go for gigs , Do you have a workplace with your goals stated out. You plan to be a successful business person, but do you have a business plan in your office, ready to take off, or is your desk empty?

How to know if you’re actually going with your plans, why is this so important?
I think that this things allow you to actually redirect yourself to what you’ve always like doing. The thing is most of us do our things naturally without even knowing it. We are so accustomed to the things we like, we do not really think of it. If you’re are conscious that what you’re doing is  what you like, then good for you.

Then this question would go out to those who doesn’t have what they want in mind and see that type of similarity in front of them. Does your job or dreams resonate with what you’re doing. You could be working doing a part time job, put that aside if you are, what i meant is more like ‘ Do you see your room, or are you trying to make that dream happen? ‘

Something for us to think about again.
Bring out our life’s masterplan, For those who’s unsure what you want to be, take a look around you, look at the things you like to do, it could be signs of what you can become, it could also be served as a guidance to your future paths.  Doing it  will help us understand ourselves better, and this time round, you might open yourself up to new opportunities, things that you have not seen or aware of.