Feeling Constricted. What to Do?

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It’s not easy to blog about life if you have a constricted life or feeling that way. I’m not saying that I’m constricted fully , but I’m saying this with reference to my National Service. I’ve thought a long way, about how i can continue to manage the blog while serving NS, is it even possible to commit myself to this journey of being a better person or trying to go for event coverage through blogging and travel the world after NS?

Another part of my story puts me in a dilemma of having to choose between working for the sake of surviving in the Singaporean economy or working for passion to try to do something with blogging and travelling, living life as a vagabond, live my life,  because I like that chance to be able to do something extraordinary and meaningful that can help others yet still be earning money at the same time and not work in a boring desk job. 

The story

As for now I’ve a Diploma in Civil Aviation or ‘Airport Management’, and my parents are asking me to sign on for NS . Some say I should choose to further my studies in Aviation  in University but boy, is the fee course so expensive, I will have to work first. I could take other courses like Psychology but that’s another story, what will i do after then?  I find myself liking music and other than that, blogging for fun.

Music has been great part of my life but at the same time my inspiration comes in and out. I stopped for awhile. Having to learn to DJ, to create music productions, to learn the ukelele, guitar , and to sing and write lyrics and to rap.

Getting music for money is again another question at hand. Singapore, well the music industry is like balancing on a thin line. You have to be that good to get paid and then you can stay on.

At the same time, blogging is like living and breathing, especially when it comes to times like this, when I need to express out how I feel. If i could combine both work and blogging together, it would be really amazing. That’s also the reason why I started to blog, to also find out what I was meant to do in life.

I’ve accepted that I have to serve NS anyway, and I feel that the opportunities left for me now to pursue big is put on hold till i really know what’s my vocation is, or what I’m doing after my Basic Training.

Will i have to take a break then, and for how long will I have to start over? Thinking too much isn’t going to calm down the other 234567 questions in my mind, so I will have to find out for some advice.

I’m not sure. I’ve to find someone who’s more experienced than me about this matter. Maybe the male bloggers in the blogosphere will answer my question. Maybe you can.

Make this one of my life lessons.

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Live the better life while Tweeting

live the better life while tweeting

Stress comes into play, minds in shock, unable to move nor think. Dumbfounded. The world that we choose to believe sucks our brain, and takes form of another alternate side of us. The non-productive state of us, and the non-beneficial part of our life, choose to reside on the twitter app on our phone.

Complains, tons of them, piled up like pieces of paper that reaches the world’s tallest building but actions none taken. Social media has been made to engage with people through expressions and ability to share with billions  yet we choose to express the wrong type of impression.

We can’t blame ourselves for what we do, because we already feel bad, so we share it with the world because we feel bad, but little did we know, that a spread of sadness comes with a consequence far beyond measures.

Have someone tweet ‘It sucks today’, and having it retweeted across every other friends in the list, sooner or later, someone else who felt like they’re not having a good time, retweet that, and then what, you’ll have a whole nation saying, ‘it sucks today’. Influence are strong, especially with hashtags available these days.

Look inside each person deep enough and you can see that he/she churns out an aura that reflects the way we feel. Two person stepped into a puddle of water and then turned out to get pooped by a bird. Both feel bad, One choose to act in with a chilled out persona and let it go while another chooses to act with a bossy, complain-king persona. Which one would you rather spend time with?

It’s simple if one applies it visually. A person surrounding a group of friends gives out an aura that will affect the person around them. Show them how funny you are, and in return they will laugh with you, and enjoy your day. Talk to them about your boring life, how you had the worse day of all, and they wouldn’t most likely even feel like enjoying themselves, instead maybe ignore, or feel pitiful for you. They might cheer you up, because that’s what you need, it makes you feel a little bit better, but you realize then that the whole day’s highlight has been spent trying to make you feel better.

What if there’s no friends to attend to you then? What if you dont feel better stilll?

What if we can change all that bad feeling into a good feeling and make you feel better by your own? You might be wondering what the hell am I talking about.

I’m not suggesting that you shouldn’t tweet about how you feel, tweet all you want, but try this.

For every bad feeling you feel, have a change of mindset. Instead of tweeting, ‘Its so bad today, god i feel like im going to die ^$#(*% FML.’ or the ‘weather sucks! Now i can’t go out as planned! #sadlife #FML ‘

Turn it into positive or more encouraging words such as ‘There’s up and downs in life, I’m not going to let it bring me down #positive’ or ‘Even if things didn’t go as planned, I shall find something productive to do. In the mean time, rain please go away! #chill’

It’s hard to accept it but it’s not impossible. It might even sound unnatural or goody-good but it works. I’ve had my share of bad times, but I could never choose to display them negatively, not because I was not expressive, or afraid of knowing what people might think of me, but because I was mindful towards how my actions would make them feel.

Even if things doesn’t really change the fact that what happened has already happened, it does make a huge difference to how one feel at the end of the day. Not only will you feel much better, you might also cheer up someone at the other side who might be having a bad day and reading your tweets.

With that, i hope you reconsider reading your tweets, and how it sounds like, or how it would affect the others around you, and make it your own life-changing persona.

A good aura attracts a positive crowd, while a bad aura attracts the negative crowd.

Have a nice day. When everything feels wrong, we move along.

 

 

Daily Prompt: Switcheroo

The daily prompt asks

If you could switch blogs with any blogger for a week, with whom would you switch and why?

Kosovar kids

Kosovar kids (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

If I was given a week, I would like to write for someone who helps other people, goes around the world for a cause, and for a change. I think that would be really helpful. I could do my best to write how he or she does, and post it on their behalf, maybe someone similar to Lifeoutofthebox.

I think I’d like to try being the blogger who’s constantly interacting with people helping out the people in need. I’d like to try to help out with bullying problems, kids who needs education, in need of better medical facilities, and update his or her readers on about real time situations.

Why? I feel that because these people are really just amazing bloggers, who are willing to go to such an extent to give themselves out to the world. They could be the one who makes little or makes a lot of difference, yet still they’re constantly engaging readers to know, updating readers by probably helping to raise fund.By connecting them with other readers to create awareness, I think that would make opportunity for even more help.

I think that wouldn’t just make a great blog to read and post, but also a good journey in life that I would like to experience. Putting a smile on their faces 🙂

I might not be able to travel the world now, but hopefully one day when the time comes, I would love to just go around, and make a change.

Here’s more related posts! 🙂

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Trying to overcome books turning yellow.

The recent days, I’ve noticed a change in the color of the books i bought, they are starting to turn yellowish by the side, do you get that kind of thing? I’m not so sure, if its just this old wooden shelve my grandma found somewhere i guess, but she kept my books hidden inside this area, and my book started to turn.

Besides that, it could also be the reason that I’m not storing it at a proper place. My friend told me she kept her books in a sort of bag, so it doesn’t turn. I think it reminds me of those   air tight proof sealer that keeps things fresh. The thing i don’t understand still is because its not like my books are so old, I’ve bought it only for less than 3 months back, and its already turning.

Things i was thinking of :

  1. Buy an air tight container
  2. Find a good spot to place my books
  3. Changing location or spot
  4. Getting an E-reader/tablet

The moment i was thinking of this, i quickly went up to google for ‘how to keep my books from turning yellow’ and most of them gave answers such as due to sunlight, the moisture of the surrounding air, and how you need to gap the books because you need air circulating the books if its near a wall and buying better books, or acid free paper which cost more, other( OMG, i really don’t know that taking care of books is so complicated!)

The next concern i had was also how much limited space i’m in. Technically, i don’t own my own room. I’m sharing the room with my grandma, that has most of her things, and i don’t intend to change the layout of it, simply because it’s my grandma’s room, and respecting that its her room, I have a good feeling she finds the things she makes and do priceless. I’m just sharing it with her.

Let me show you what I’m working with here.

grandma's room with laptop view

grandma’s room with laptop view

I hope you ignore the messiness . so basically, everything else besides the bed which seems to be filled with so much mattresses I don’t know why but that’s where I sleep , and things that are behind this picture, is my grandma’s and in no other condition am I able to shift things around so much. I had my books down on the floor, but it used to be hidden at the back of the table behind my Mac. (at this point of time, i kind wish i had my room that i can work on because i also want to chase my dreams.)

I think that at the end of the day, I feel the solution to not buy so much books, and keep making the place I’m at crowded would be to invest on a good e-reader.

I’ve thought of kindle , but apparently they don’t ship it to my country, though I’ve seen someone using it here somehow, which i believe took a lot of time importing. The next thought i had was buying kobo touch or glo, which is the next alternative which is available but somehow online and bought through someone who imports the things here.

The next alternative i could find was simply using a tablet, but i’d prefer using just e-reader so that i can focus on pure reading without having the distraction of other apps.

So that’s what i have going on , what’s your take on this? do you somehow encounter a similar problem as mine?

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Trying to understand why something that seems so easy is just so difficult.

Yeah, really, I’m wondering. Usually I have this plan that i want really stuck inside my head, I’m already aiming at it, but then the moment i decide to do this plan, I’m just down with some blockage. There’s just something that’s not working.

Maybe I’m a perfectionist. I want to do something really nice, but then because I’m always changing things here and there, I never get things done.

I’m stuck in a dilemma of where I want the best of everything. 

I can’t remember how many things I’ve tried myself, but i always get things halfway done. I opened up a blog years ago, and just recently, I’ve opened up another blog on local art. I joined DJ-ing halfway, and i wanted to concentrate on being a producer. I had taken an aviation course in school, with in mind previously, that i wanted to be a pilot, but after realizing that it’s not my passion, i decided not to be so much. Then i just thought, what was my passion anyway? 

 I confessed being a dreamer, and have great ambitions, and its not that it’s not possible but because I want to do so much stuffs, i can’t even concentrate on what i want anymore. 

Is there a sickness to describe this? Is it fickle-mindedness. Maybe.

I’m taking a step back to try and figure out again what is it that i want to be. I hope to record the journey I’m taking from now on. 

 

Please, please make it work.

The project 365 was a bit delayed, I was working on a Saturday and Sunday Shift, and my phone dropped into the water swimming pool, and reason was, well, I had my phone in my pocket. 

Note to self : Don’t ever work with your phone in your pocket, especially when you’re out working as a server for a beach, or at a place where’s a swimming pool is just near your area of workplace. You might never know, a ‘workmate’ of yours, have some silly ideas of suddenly pushing you into the pool, and voila’ that makes your life, a little well, not so good anymore. 

I’m currently in a midst of trying to get my phone fixed, and the button in the bottom middle of my Galaxy S2 phone, which is one of the most important function didn’t work. Apparently, i tried speedy-pressing the small tiny button the for the first 5 mins of when i woke up earlier, I also tried pressing it so hard, it felt like i almost pushed the button all the way in, nope, didn’t work either.

Or,it’s just my phone, seriously, i think it doesn’t want me. I’ve been sending it for repair for two times in less then a month now and now it’s coming to its character again. 

Image

 

Most of my photos are taken from Instagram, i feel it was first an efficient way of getting my project 365 done, but it isn’t that easy, when things like this happens. Still, life has to go on, so I will still continue what i left out, and in the mean time find other ways of making my projec365 a better one